Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Shrinkage

I’ve received more than a few emails and now some comments as to my physical appearance so I figure I’d better fess up. I am indeed shrinking and thank you for noticing. I’ve never been one to obsess about my weight but in the new year I decided to jump on a scale and was shocked to see the numbers go all the way up to 280lbs (127kg for you metric folks and 20 stone for my ancestral home dwellers). Having two kids and lots of fun are things I like so I decided to eat less crap and snack less. The net result so far is that I have shrunken down to just under 240 pounds and holding (for those that wish to applaud, my wife is past the 50 pounds lost mark herself and, despite rolling her eyes at me every time I mention it, is looking awesome). For those of you that are weight loss and diet junkies you know that the party only goes on for so long before you stop shrinking and your body adapts. That time is now for me so my wife and I decided that it was time to mix things up a little. Apparently the next step involves increasing physical activity. After a heated discussion it was determined that increasing physical activity involves more effort than not putting batteries in the tv remotes. Since having two children and a dog keeps you too busy for a gym membership, but ironically enough not busy enough to burn those extra pounds, we decided that it was time to take action to further our shrinking. Since I haven’t been able to find any gypsies to hit with my car it was decided that some equipment would be required.

The rack, the iron maiden and the elliptical.  All remnants of the medievel legacy of torture devicesAfter trolling the advertisements and web sites of many a retailer it was determined that we would buy an elliptical machine. For those of you unfamiliar with an elliptical it is the love child of a treadmill a bike and those late night TV ski training things. You stand on it and make your arms go back and forth while your feet go round and round. Luckily it’s all gears and levers which force you to move in this manner because I’ve never been any good at the rub your belly and pat your head at the same time thing. Little did I realize that my adventure in fitness would begin the way it did though.

We found the perfect unit at a popular Canadian retailer who shall remain nameless. Let’s just say that despite their catchy name they sell a lot more than round rubber automotive attachments. Having discovered the unit on the web I knew that going to the store and asking for one could be futile so I used their handy online stock status gadget and learned an interesting thing. Apparently nobody in our city buys fitness equipment. The unit I was after was a special order in all local stores, but in the neighboring cities it was a stock item. So I set about stripping the van of all it’s child seating equipment and jumped on the road to purchase the life altering gear. Upon my arrival I eagerly headed to the fitness section of the store where I found only one clerk. If that wasn’t bad enough he was busy with a busload of folks who all decided to buy a bicycle at the exact same time. After waiting 15 minutes I decided to wander the store and seek out another clerk, of which there were none. At this point the small assortment or free weights I was intending to purchase at the same time was beginning to get heavy because I wasn’t smart enough to get a cart.

So by the time I realized I had been in the store for a half an hour with no assistance I decided to head for the customer service counter to seek some of that elusive service. After waiting in line for a little more time I finally got to the counter where my inner goofball couldn’t resist some fun. When the lady at the counter asked if she could help me I promptly sat the basket with the weights in it on the counter and told her that I wanted to return them because I had them for three weeks and hadn’t lost any weight at all yet. While she searched her brain for an answer I relieved her by explaining that I had been standing around for an hour and needed a piece of equipment from the warehouse. So they managed to get it out and loaded into the van for me. When I managed to finally get home with my hard earned purchase I met one more hurdle. My wife despite her best efforts was unable to lift the box with me. So being the stubborn soul that I am I wrestled the box up the front steps, across the hallway and into the basement. After hauling the box downstairs and peeling it open I set about putting the beast together where it now sits mockingly every time I watch television. I always knew that fitness equipment made getting some exercise a little easier, but I never figured on a good cardio workout from shopping. Isn’t the workout supposed to begin once it’s assembled?!?

Oh well, at least I can get something out of my television time beyond the sheer amazement that the crap that’s on cost as much to make as it did. As well as the astonishment that advertisers spend as much as they do to be associated with them. I shall occasionally keep you apprised of my shrinking until there is nothing left of me. Maybe I'll make a flipbook of me at various sizes so you can wathc me melt like a snowman.

21 Comments:

Blogger cathouse teri said...

I would only hope that you also previously referred to your wife as awesome. Unfortunatly, once someone loses weight, people make a big fuss over how great you look now. We think this is a good thing. I mean, after all, it's a compliment! But really, what are you saying? That I prefer you this way? It's no wonder that when we gain some (or all) of the weight back, we are depressed because the compliments stop coming.

I am TOTALLY for being fit. And feeling good about yourself. It seems, by your article, that your focus is just that. I swim every day myself, to keep fit.

I'm proud of you for accomplishing so much. It requires much discipline and sacrifice. But it's hard to keep perspective. I hope it continues to be a fun and positive experience for you both.

8:47:00 AM  
Blogger ms. creek said...

i am working on my shrinkage as well and 1/2 the time, i am on the elipto machine and i love it because it doesn't put any stress on my knees, hips or feet. it's a great work out. good lluck with shrinkage...it's a lifelong issue with me.

9:04:00 AM  
Blogger Kye said...

Good for you Pete! Looks like we've both suffered from some sort of head trauma to cause us to "exercise" (oh God.. the E word) I thought there was something different last time I saw you, but I never mention anything about anyone's weight cause I don't like hearing it myself. I will next time if you want me to. lol

11:27:00 AM  
Blogger Hick said...

Good on you...or should I say, good off you.

I'm still walking and using my pedometer. My husband has been attempting to repair our treadmill for several months now. I'm hoping it will be up and running (heh) prior to the bad weather hitting us.

My weight loss plan...eat less and move more. Seems simple...I can't understand why I don't get it.

11:59:00 AM  
Blogger Denny Shane said...

heh heh heh... in case you missed it, heh, heh, heh

12:00:00 PM  
Blogger Celti said...

Love the flipbook idea! Way to GO, Pete!

12:43:00 PM  
Blogger Oh great One said...

Congrats! That's quite an accomplishment. Good for you!

4:50:00 PM  
Blogger Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Could you loose a few pounds of my fat too while you're doin' yours? Since you're already working out....saves me doing it.

9:34:00 PM  
Blogger Violet said...

That's so great. I should maybe get one myself.

Is your red nose shrinking too?

2:57:00 AM  
Blogger wondy woman said...

Good for you, Pete - you look great! You're an inspiration and make it sound easy somehow.

Wondy x

6:22:00 AM  
Blogger calories first said...

That's great news. Congrats! More info here - http://sexual-problems1.kagai.net/

7:38:00 AM  
Blogger angela marie said...

Excuse me, Calories First...I don't think that RP mentioned any sexual problems, but thanks for the spam.

Ahem. Congratulations on losing the weight husband and wife team!

8:23:00 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Good for you! I went from 209 pounds to 149 over the past 1,5 year and it just feels good, if only for the accomplishment and the fact that I solely did it for myself and nobody else!

* cheering U on *

9:26:00 AM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

I knew it! Congratulations to you both. Making a life change toward a healthier you and you is the best thing you can do for yourselves and the little ones. High fives all around!
As a quick aside, my mom was severely overweight. She became diabetic and was insulin dependent. After adding a half of a gallon of water to her everyday (not changing anything else) she lost 75 pounds. Just with water! When she realized how much better she felt, she changed her eating habits a little and got out walking. She lost the additional 25 plus pounds.
When she went to her doctor, who didn't know of her weightloss over that year, besides being shocked, the doctor checked Mom's sugar and said, she could stay off the insulin. It's been a couple of years now and Mom is officially diabetic free. All because of a life change.
So big ol' mushy hugs and high fives to you and the Mrs. for you life change.

9:56:00 AM  
Blogger Chana said...

hi. you just keep on telling your beautiful wife how great and hot and sexy she looks no matter how much she rolls her eyes..wifes tend to roll them anyways but this time it's not that you are doing anything but one fantastic thing. she must have always been beautiful anyways as you seem to have a great eye for beauty. i see it in your pictures.

congratulations on your loss too..i should get my butt off the bed and get back into Curves..that worked for me, i'm not sure what excuse i'm using this wk as not why not yet..probably something to do with my health, yeap probably..:)

thank you for stopping by my blog again. it was yet another treat for me. greatly appreciated...

i know you must have read it somewhere, but i must say it again. you guys do an amazing job over at Useless..how i missed my own question is beyond me..now that is truly sad..shaking my head still..

11:25:00 AM  
Blogger sands of time said...

Great job.I bet you and your wife are looking awesome now.

12:41:00 PM  
Blogger Rowan said...

you could have just asked, I have a brand new eliptical that has only been used to hang my laundry on for over a year. seemed like a good idea at the time.

3:03:00 PM  
Blogger PBS said...

Wow, good for you both! It takes a lot of determination to stick with a program.

9:22:00 PM  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Friends have said that these things reall give you a good workout. Happy shedding.

1:10:00 PM  
Blogger katie said...

I love the eliptical machine! It's a great workout. Good for you and your wife!

3:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Laura said...

This reminds me of your mousetrap post awhile ago. Why not build yourself a better torture... errr, exercise machine? DIY and save all those dollars.

Congratulations on the shrinkage. Most men don't brag about that kind of thing, but you've always been kind of different.

10:17:00 PM  

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