Weapons of Mass Hydration

The battlefield sat in silence as the anticipation built. The troops joked among themselves with typical nervousness, for they knew that the enemy would soon strike. As they took their positions and scouted out the enemy positions plans were formulated. As is typical in battlefield situations, there were orders being given to the troops as they were being rallied. Instructions were given as messenger torn up and down the battlefield in their motorized vehicles, trying to get to the entire strike force in order to co-ordinate the massive effort.

The forces took their final positions in their formations and dug in for the final assault. The people lined a filed in two opposing lines that stretched over hundreds of feet, manning crates of balloons preparing for a version of saturation bombing that even the UN would approve of. The commanders looked over the battlefield with guarded optimism as final preparations were made. Ammunition stores were secured and verified and then it was time. The peaceful and friendly chatter was torn asunder by the blast of an airhorn and all hell broke loose. There was a barrage of missiles the likes of which have never been seen in our fair city ever before. Caught in the middle of the firefight, I found a deep respect for the reporters that broadcast from the battefields that dot our planet. Trying to get that video or picture while dodging fire is not as easy as you might think. And this was a controlled battlefield.

The numbers aren't in yet but even if there were no record broken, the event was hilarious. If you ever have the opportunity to take part in a mass water balloon fight in your lifetime, take it. You've never seen anything like it. Sure I've been in ones where a hundred or so people tossed balloons but never an assault of this magnitude. Once the battle was over there was nothing left but a sea of drenched participants, laughter in the air and more rubber on the ground than a teen makeout hideout.

It was like watching a rude person spill their coffee all over themselves, you couldn't help but laugh as events unfolded. The energy and the sheer insanity of the event was just good clean fun. Every city should make this a summer prerequisite.