Daylight Savings and Loan

Well, this weekend saw the arrival of daylight savings time. Just like when I was a little kid I sat awake with anticipation. I put a plate of batteries and water out for the clock fairy and lay awake until 2:00am waiting for her to come and make the clocks spring ahead with a flick of her wand. Maybe staying awake didn't really work out so well though because instead of losing just an hour of sleep I lost a bunch more. The worst part s that she never came so the clocks all had to be manually adjusted. Well all but the VCR which I adjusted in the morning only to find that it had adjusted itself already and it had now managed to be two hours out (duh!).

I checked all the snares and traps I had set by the clock and found absolutely nothing. My wife then promptly informed me that you put traps out for leprechauns and not fairies. I forgot that they could fly, so leg hold traps and snares aren't likely to catch anyone. Maybe next year I'll set up a mission impossible style laser grid. Her lack of an appearance didn't go without its benefits though as I had the last laugh. Since we all enjoy setting the clocks back in the fall and hate setting them forward in the spring I decided to get even with her and set the clocks back 23 hours. Having gained 23 hours of sleep I actually feel really refreshed. A welcome change from the drain that comes with setting them forward an hour I can tell you. The best part is that nobody knows that I am almost a day behind them so I can blend with the rest of the free world (well, as well as can be expected for the likes of me).

I have since mailed a letter in to the government demanding that we adopt the new system of setting them back in the spring and await their response. I'm not really that optimistic about a response though. They're still bitter about me suing them in response to their refusal to issue me a bank license so I can open my very own First National Daylight Savings and Loan. I think they're worried about me actually taking in cash. I've explained to them that this would aid in the collection of all the daylight that gets saved up. If they can get it all collected up they could sell it off to the tropics and other tourist destinations for a healthy markup. Imagine the uses for all the additional cash flow!!