Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Fun With Telemarketers

Telemarketers are people too!

How often do your get phone calls with a special, or once in a lifetime opportunity? I don't know about you but I'm a lucky guy. I get these once in a lifetime opportunities at the rate of about one every two days. That should put me at about 10,000+ per lifetime. Wow!

At that rate I don't understand why these people still think I should jump on each opportunity since I'll get another chance the next time they call.

While most people view telemarketers as an annoyance I prefer to feel sorry for them, albeit very briefly. These poor folks are trying to earn a living and the best they are able to do is annoy people and interrupt their mealtimes to make a buck. If they are silly enough to phone my house then they are taking their chances. Unlike my wife, I don't feel compelled to run and pick up the phone every time it rings. I'm not really all that important so the odds of missing a critical call are pretty minimal. The problem for telemarketers is that when I'm bored I will answer it and then it's game time.

Many people are unaware that these poor folks are following a script with all the answers written in there for them to follow along. Kind of like the old Choose Your Own Adventure books. My delinquent mind thrives on the ability to find the answers to their questions that haven't been written in their books, therefore forcing them to exercise their brain. I will ask all sorts of deranged questions and they usually aren't quite sure what to do (Of course every now and then I get a player and kudos to them).

The lengths I go to in deterring the ones that won't take no for an answer are also quite fun. We were being hounded by one that kept calling my wife every day at least twice, even though she had said no thank you to them several times.

That was when the fatality occurred.

After 2 weeks of telling them that she was out and not sure when she was returning I talked to the man on the other side of the phone. When he asked for my wife I created a nice long awkward pause and informed him that she had met a tragic end just yesterday. He was left scrambling for the what to say and after stammering for a few moments he simply apologized for the interruption then hung up. Seems to work pretty well as I haven't heard from him since.

Remember folks, we all allow these people to succeed in keeping their industry alive. If there was no money in phone sales there would be no telemarketers. Since it is inevitable that they will continue, you may as well have fun with it. If you don't then you'll find you are constantly ignoring a ringing phone or yelling at some poor soul sho's just doing their job.

That'll teach them!


Anonymous Happy and Blue said...

I realize they have a job to do. I just wish they wouldn't do it when I'm eating supper or watching tv.
I just hang up on them..

12:34:00 PM  
Blogger Sask 1 said...

My oldest son plays games with them.Putting on silly voices and acting really dumb.

3:16:00 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

My husband will mess with them by acting stupid and things like that.

I just hang up.

4:08:00 PM  
Blogger Elle said...

I hate those phone calls. I have to remember your response though. Clever. And you are right about the standard I set for the rest of the house. I've been cleaning like a mad-woman. I mean how can those nice clean drawers exist in this messy house. No nook is safe!!!!!

4:45:00 PM  
Blogger Rhodent said...

My husband has used the death thing on telemarketers before...gets them everytime! I usually just check the caller ID before I answer the phone.

11:46:00 PM  
Blogger Hick said...

I always talk to them, but I do try to get them away from their script by asking questions. Most of them are pretty pleasant people that are just trying to make ends meet.

I still don't like it when they call at dinnertime, though.

11:22:00 AM  
Blogger CG said...

You guys are so mean! Playing with their emotions like that!!

Me, I just get out the ol' airhorn and ...

8:38:00 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Even after refusing multiple times, Amex-Airmiles STILL calls me and sends me offers for a credit card.

These people annoy me so much that I can't be all that nice. (The actual callers are annoying.) I say no a zillion times then thank them and hang up.

11:58:00 AM  

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