My Genes Are Tight

Do you have a pet you love but would like a slight improvement on? Maybe tomatoes as large as pumpkins are your thing. Well dream no more. For only a few thousand dollars you can turn your garage into a home gene splicing lab.

Imagine a dog that doesn't shed or a cat with the personality of a dog (finally a useful cat!). The possibilities are endless. I'd probably use this technology in the same manner as I use anything else. There would soon be apples that taste like soap that I could take to work and leave in the fridge for the lunch stealing bastards that reside in our building. Likely a few stolen food products with the distinctive tang of earwax would be pretty good for curbing that I think.

I could grow trees that can defend my home in case of a burglary or door-to-door solicitation incident. It could simply pick up the offending body and hurl them back to the curb. Maybe I could grow a fish that follows simple commands and use it when I go to the cottage. It could convince other fish that the lures I am using are delightfully edible and increase my yield.

The most likely use I can come up with would be to genetically create a chicken that can prepare itself and jump into the oven so I can not have to worry about dinner when I get home. The possibilities are virtually endless. Start saving your coins folks and join in the next great hobby.

What sort of thing would you bio-engineer with your new toy?