Deviance For The Lord

We had a church sale this weekend. For those unfamiliar with the concept, our church put a request our for unwanted goods to be donated to the church. They would clean them up and sell them in a one-day event to raise some cash to help pay for repairs and other church-type expenses.

The result yielded two entertaining things for me. The first is that people are hilarious when it come to donating things to this kind of event. Several times a year our city has a bulk pick up day for large trash items that aren't usually picked up. Those that miss these days apparently feel the need to bring these items to the sale. Among the useful items like books and dishes we received such gems as a 50's style hair dryer, broken pool cues, a 3-legged desk and computers that any museum would be proud to own.

The second entertainment to me is the same one that is consistent with these kids of sales. No matter if it is a church sale, yard sale or any similar event, the bargain hunters emerge. This delightful creature is less concerned with acquisition of actual useful goods but is more concerned with getting a bargain. They would purchase any items that had a particular use so long as you will "cut them a deal" on it. We actually had people bargaining over items that were tagged at 25 cents. You can't actually do much with this sum of money aside from placing a phone call, but apparently these people had to stretch them.

As is typical of me I feel the need to play these people. Haggle at a church sale that I am present at with discretion folks. When asked about deals I would simply up the ante. At 25 cents for a paperback novel (typically $7.00 new) I had people asking would I take 20 cents. My response was that we could only do that if they were buying 10 or more books. This basically made them take the 3 books they were holding and grab 7 more. I mean, you can't walk away from a bargain like that can you? This mad a 75 cent purchase into a $2.00 purchase. The old folks at the church were howling with glee as I shifted the piles of crap into visitors' cars.

The best part came when we had everything piled up for donation to shelters, which is what we do with unsold goods at the end of it all. Some guy pulled up and asked how much for the books we had left. There were about 120 books left and we were dumping them for nothing, but if this guy was going to pay I was going for it. When the dust had settled I had loaded the books in his SUV and relieved him of another $20.00. It's fun being me sometimes, but at least it's for a good cause.