Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Treachery and the teapot

If you think that your workplace suffers from some bureaucracy troubles and incompetence issues then you should thank your fate that you don't work in Hertfordshire. There in East Herts Council offices the decision was made to cut costs. As with many places cuts had to be made so after long deliberation they decided that this meant the end of the snack cart lady. At a paltry salary of 8000 quid a year (about 17,000 Canadian) her costs was too much for the company to bear. I'm sure their office runs so efficiently that they could possibly find other ways to save. Actually given the fallout since the cut I'm sure I could think of a few ways to streamline things, like hiring staff that can think.

Apparently the company has been forced to spend almost $500 on a consultant to teach these poor desk ridden folk how to safely make tea. After several workers found themselves injured as a result of the treacherous task of making teat it was determined that the safety of the staff was paramount. I never realized that making tea could be such a hazardous endeavor, but there it is. The company has seen many injuries including a burnt hand and a broken risk as a result of employees having to traverse their building's perilous stairs and doors with a cup of hot liquid. It was decided that the consultant would be brought in to show them how to be safe before the lawsuits began to start rolling in. The powers that be have determined that the hundreds were well spent as they could have been facing a court case in the thousands had someone been really injured.

I hear rumor that they will be training people on how to properly staple things together after their seminar on workplace safe pencil sharpening is complete. You've got to wonder how long it will be before they issue gloves to limit the devastating impact of paper cuts in the workplace. Actually I'm pretty concerned for our safety here at work now. We have no problems with the dangerous chemicals and forklifts, but we just got a new kettle. I think I'll put in for a transfer........it's only a matter of time before a life is lost.


Blogger Martini said...

I'm an excellent stapler teacher due to my painful experience in the field.

Lesson one: Your thumbnail is not stronger than the staple. It might be thicker than paper, but it's just as weak.

12:16:00 PM  
Blogger Minerva said...

Brilliant Pete, simply brilliant! Wouldn't surprise me at all sadly...

7:55:00 PM  
Blogger Violet said...

Those people were probably trying to guilt management into bringing back the tealady.

8:22:00 PM  
Blogger Le laquet said...

Poor little tea lady! Only in England could that happen :o)

1:36:00 AM  
Blogger redheaded said...

i say you have a picket line to bring back the snack lady!

9:08:00 AM  
Blogger wondy woman said...

That is fab and not at all surprising, coming from a girl in Britain witnessing these things first hand!

And funnily enough I've been called upon on more than one occasion to lend my professional stapling skills to a student or two...

You couldn't dream this up could you?

11:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Happy and Blue 2 said...

I've heard that several universities in North America have come up with a Masters program in Common Sense to deal with just these types of situations.
Of course it could be several years before the first graduates enter the workforce.
In the meantime everyone needs to be really careful..

11:38:00 AM  
Blogger Hick said...

Good thing I chose the homemaker career path instead of snack lady...or is there a difference?

11:50:00 AM  
Blogger Rowan said...

oh for the flipping love of god!
this is whats wrong with the world, the snack cart lady clearly has the PhD and the other employees just shipped off the DARTS bus. this has got to be a joke, right?

1:04:00 PM  
Blogger AlmightyHeidi said...

I would becareful, you know that the 'tea-lady' has the inside scoop on everyone in the company. It is a conspiracy I tell ya....either that or the CEO went on a diet, and is making the rest suffer. That is what happens in my family.

1:37:00 PM  
Blogger AlmightyHeidi said...

PS...happy and Blue...saw your post. We (the women of america) miss you, and want you to come back.:)

1:37:00 PM  
Blogger sisiggy said...

Yes, but when the snack cart lady was around, paper cuts from the Twinkie wrappers vastly outnumbered tea-related injuries 2 to 1.

2:48:00 PM  
Blogger Dewdrop said...

The "brave-enough-to-make-the-tea-or-coffee person" should obviously receive Danger Money....

3:10:00 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

the tea lady at hubbys place has her wages subsidised by the shop floor, they all give her so much a week as well as her wage so she won't leave...


3:05:00 AM  

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