Monday, June 26, 2006

Happy birthday you big prick you!

With the triumphant return of me to the internet (and you thought you'd be safe for a while I found it cool that this day actually saw a celebration of another sort.

Earlier versions of the tower were less than impressive30 years ago today saw the public opening of the most phallic of world wonder, the CN tower. Actually opened on October 2nd of 1976, February 6 in the distant past of 1973 saw the beginning of this monumental undertaking by the Canadian National Railway. It was a natural construction for a company responsible for laying rails on the ground. This fantastic cement piece of industrial posturing was meant to thumb Canada’s nose at the world by demonstrating the strength of its industry and manufacturing.

Yup. What better way to show off to the world than to construct a massive phallus in the heart of the Toronto core. This massive concrete wang has been a tourist attraction for decades and will continue to be one I would think. With a massive refit that began on 1997 there was the addition of elevators and a revitalization that ensured its place as a destination for tourists and entertainment.
While the builders may deny that the inspiration for this was a great big disk, others may argue that such protestations are just a smokescreen. Check out this picture which clearly shows any attempts to pretend otherwise are just foolish. Wouldn't you say that the construction of the two stadiums at its base mimic some other anatomical goodies? At least they didn't plant a pile of trees down there too!

If the smog will let you then enjoy the fantastic height of the tower from its base.So if you are in Toronto today I'm sorry for your luck. Actually what I meant to say was take the kids to the tower for one of 3,000 goodie bags being handed out and take advantage of their 3 for $30.00 deal that will allow you to head to the look out level and scare the crap out of your kids by forcing them to stand on the glass floor while you get a picture of their teary face for the photo album. If you're really into cool views then drop a few more bucks and head up to the sky pod for a truly breathtaking view of the city from a height that makes it look as clean and pretty as it thinks it is. Then try to escape from the tower before your kids notice the arcade, theater, Lego race ride or restaurant. Each of these cleverly placed attractions situated in such a fashion as to maximize the depletion of funds from your wallet. If you wanted to recoup some of this lost money you could always send the kids on a mission to try and recover the time capsule that is buried in the walls of the lookout level. I imagine some of that stuff might go for a pretty penny on eBay.

8 Comments:

Blogger PBS said...

Well, are you going to the tower with your kids, will we get to see the teary family photos?

9:52:00 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

welcome back to the internet.

I must say when I was last in Toronto I went there...


Take Care
Michael

10:51:00 AM  
Blogger Leesa said...

Wild. The glass floor would be creepy I think.

10:55:00 AM  
Blogger Celti said...

Hooray for giant phallic symbols! Here is Des Moines' very own: http://www.principalglobal.com/images/reit/801Grand.jpg

1:40:00 PM  
Anonymous happy and blue 2 said...

People in Canada were really horny in the early 70's..

6:30:00 PM  
Blogger Chana said...

i'm sure yours would be just as exciting as ours...i think i'll pass..

7:31:00 PM  
Blogger Perpetual Chocoholic said...

lol!

8:58:00 AM  
Blogger Martini said...

Haven't been there in such a long time. Do they still have the Lego-CN Tower replica in the 'lobby' ?

11:57:00 AM  

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