Actions Have Consequences

Recently I learned that doing things for no apparent reason can impact the everyday life in interesting ways.

I have never made it a secret that I am not a huge fan of telemarketers so in that vein I often like to mess with callers who appear as generic numbers on the caller ID. With my great sense mischief all hyped up and ready to go I picked up the phone and answered it. Expecting a sales pitch I put the phone to my ear and heard a voice asking me if I could come out to Toronto for a consultation. Apparently when I was wreaking havoc at the auto show I was pestering some model-type people. Turns out they got my name and put me down for a modeling consultation.

Now I know I'm not pretty folks, so I think they were getting even with me for wasting their time. Little did they realize that I would be wasting their office's time as well. In a simple act of revenge they have given me more food for the fire.

After fighting horrific traffic and hunting long and hard for a parking spot I finally arrived at the agency. Now if you've been reading my blog you know what kind person I am. If you haven't been reading this blog then I highly recommend you click the next blog link at the top of the page before it is too late. You can only imagine what a non-modeling soul such as myself would be like after an hour in the E-Z-Bake auto.. While most would be drained and/or cranky, I found myself extra playful.

I kept getting in trouble for tapping the glass to get their pet crocodile to move. He just sat the like a lump, boring thing. The poor receptionist probably needed to put in a request that the waiting room be separated from her desk in future after the likes of me. I kept acting really confused and dumb because I watched Zoolander and realized that if your are really smart you can't be a model. She didn't know what to do with me. When I saw she was having difficulty I told her "I can see that you're pretty so I'll use small words". Luckily she didn't throw me out though, and instead she sent me to "the office at the end of the hall". Oooooohhhh, mysterious!

Once inside I guess I was talking to the talent scout. She began to ask me about my skills and abilities and I didn't disappoint. I demonstrated the funky dancing moves I learned from this guy and she began to look concerned. She asked I could sing and I told her I knew our national anthem in French and English, she began scribbling faster. I didn't realize her eyesight was not that good though., This was made apparent when she asked I participated in any sports. Anyone that knows me will attest that, unless your are referring to sitting in the stands swilling beer and yelling at the officials, I am not built for sports (Although a blocker in football and possibly a sumo wrestler could be managed with my physique). She didn't look impressed when I told her I could play cards, pool and darts. I asked her if there was any work for me as the "before guy" in those diet ads but she just looked confused.

Then she asked for my pictures. They told me on the phone to bring two recent pictures and since they called and booked an appointment for the following day I couldn't get any professionally done (Not that I was taking this too seriously anyway). As a result I grabbed these two and brought them with me.

For some reason she didn't seem all that impressed! They told me if they wanted to represent me, they would call me back later in the week and let me know. I'm not holding my breath since that sounded like one of those "we'll keep your resume on file" type comments.

Let's face it folks. I don't think you'll have to worry about seeing my ugly mug plastered up in public any time soon, unless I commit a crime or go missing. Of course if I go missing, that implies that someone actually wants to try and find me.