Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Dare To Be Stupid

The greeting card industry and other retailers have aligned over the past decades. Along with their mountains of merchandise they drive us to consume they have also yielded an interesting by-product, manufactured holidays. Now I'm not talking the good, day off from work, kind of holidays here. I'm talking the "You should buy someone a card because it's such a day" holidays.

There are days for pretty much everyone who wants one and if not, just contact them and they'll fire up the presses and set you up. While this has driven consumption of these types of merchandise through the roof it has also put us guys in a precarious position of pretty much always having to remember some "holiday" or special day. Since we usually fail miserably at this I figured it was time we got our own day. Then while cruising I found a reference to Stupid Guy Thing Day.

This single day may be responsible for spawning the likes of the the "Tomatina" tomato fights in Spain and a great many other pointless events. Hey, it's what we do best. How many of you haven't found yourselves shaking your head at guys when they get going. In general most guys when alone or in very small groups they aren't usually too dangerous (I choose another path myself). It's when we begin to congregate that the real fun starts.

Why do we feel the need to outdo one another? Why do we find farts so damn funny? What drives us to perform foolish acts that will endanger our lives and general well being for a laugh? We're guys! We jump off of things for fun. We'll try to outdrink each other, outbelch each other, outplay each other and generally perform strange and deranged acts because it keeps us sane. Pranks, pointless slapstick violence and mayhem are the calling cards we leave for the world. Think of all the exercise necks everywhere get with all the head shaking. We're doing our part for international fitness, honest.

It's a day for we stupid guys to be ourselves. Let us worship those other stupid guys that have carved a spot for us in the annals of history. Women will fear this event as it means more of guys being guys. I say keep them scared and push yourself to the top of your game fellas! So let's race downhill in shopping carts. Take a stupid bet for glory and be that dumb little kid you really want to be but society won't let you be. Just make sure you have some of the guys with you or warn them what you're up to.

Someone has to be around to make bail.


Blogger Ruth said...

lol i saw the disabled version of Guy Pranks on a wheelchair tennis trip once. some of the guyz stole a prosthetic leg from an amputee who was in his chair playing tennis and obviously removed it). anyhow they played wheres waldo with the leg all weekend, flying it up a flagpole u ntil its owner spotted it...sticking it in tne bleachers with a cap on it (quite a feat for people in wheelchairs involving some jumping, crawling, etc) get the idea. the guy kept asking wheres my leg peals of laughter....

8:15:00 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Ha! Your closing line is so funny!!! That is almost word for word what I told The Peanut King one 4th of July when he was shooting off illegal fireworks in front of our house. He asked "Aren't you going to come out and watch?" I said, "Nope, someone's gotta be around to bail you out of jail!!!"

See? I DO understand! :)

8:28:00 AM  
Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

LMAO, I so needed a laugh....

9:23:00 AM  
Anonymous crystalbat said...

Funny man, with a nice writing style!

10:00:00 AM  
Blogger Adrienne said... are so funny and I'm so thankful that you are.

I'll help you out by taking up a colletion for your bail. I can afford a dollar.

10:44:00 AM  
Blogger Sask 1 said...

tHat was funny.But i want to join in the fun so im not going to be the one to post bail.

11:28:00 AM  
Blogger Ms Vile File said...

Someone died a few years ago, doing wheelie-bin (rubbish bins on wheels)races down Baldwin Street in New Zealand, the world's steepest street.

If memory serves me rightly, I think it was a girl.

Maybe Stupid Guy Day should allow for a few honorary girls to be commemorated as well.

3:21:00 PM  
Blogger Celti said...

hee hee hee hee hee!

Great idea, man!

3:41:00 PM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

LOL. The only problem I see with this is how we could wait for that one special day each year to do this stuff..

4:34:00 PM  
Blogger JODSTER said...

Who do I make the cheque out to again?

4:52:00 PM  
Blogger portuguesa nova said...


I WILL go to that tomato throwing festival before I die. I don't care if its dumb.

8:39:00 PM  
Blogger blue2go said...

Happy Stupid Guy Thing Day! Hoped you behaved appropriately!

11:19:00 PM  
Blogger Rainypete said...

For me this is every day, bt I appreciate the sentiment.

7:53:00 AM  
Blogger wondy woman said...

Viva la stupid guy!

IS it wrong that I harbour a secret little 'thing' for Silent Bob and Jay?!

8:09:00 AM  
Blogger Hick said...

Why do guys think farts are so funny, anyway. My husband and youngest son laugh and laugh at just the mention of public farts. Sigh.

10:17:00 AM  

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