Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Mobile Morons

Is it just me or are they just giving driver's licenses away at the grocery store along with samples of nasty tasting foods? Why is everyone in such a rush these days? I find that every time I get in the car it turns out like a commute during the Indy 500. People jockey for position and squeeze you off the road to gain what? A few seconds earlier arrival time at their destination? Seems a big risk for a small payoff.

Maybe this is a lack of extreme sports in their lives. Maybe if these people took some risks outside of their car they would be more relaxed drivers. I think that if the police want to control aggressive driving they should distribute skydiving passes with the tickets they hand out. This would give the idiots on the road a place to feel a burst of exhilaration that no erratic lane changing could touch. The thrill of an open plane, that first tentative feeling of panic as they step out. The thrill of the free fall and the freedom of floating to the ground.

Maybe they could sign all aggressive drivers up for a paintball session. They could vent whatever frustrations they have that makes them a raging tool behind the wheel, thereby enabling them to drive in a civilized manner. Whatever it is, I subscribe to the theory that Gallagher had it right. All drivers should be issued with rubber stick-um dart guns and when someone does something stupid you put a dart in their trunk. When they accumulate enough a cop will pull them over and give them a ticket for driving like a moron.

Either that or we should trick out our cars with old tires in a ring around the car. Then when someone does something really dumb you can give them a bumper cars style heads up.

Whatever happens in the future folks, lets try to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. Are you an aggressive driver or not? If so, what's your hurry?


Blogger Sask 1 said...

Im not an aggressive driver just one who doesnt always pay attention to the road.

12:09:00 PM  
Blogger t~ said...

What really gets me peeved is that now they have those wonderful good doing officers about every 500' or so along the highways. Traffic will be flowing along at a nice decent pace, when all of a sudden you come upon one of them standing there holding their speed gun at you. That's all good and well, he's already clocked you by that point...

So why on earth do people feel the need to slam on the brakes?! It's a bit late for that, don't you think?

12:24:00 PM  
Blogger Martini said...

Some angry jackass wrote a letter to the editor last weekend about how he was unfairly ticketed for parking in a no-stopping zone. He even said that he explained to the by-law officer the reason he parked there was because he was visiting a store, and his son was in the car, and therefore, he shouldn't get a ticket.
Ignorance of the law is appalling - and hilarious!

12:46:00 PM  
Blogger Schotzy said...

Thank you for this rant Pete it is one of my pet peeves. Oh how I detest the idiots that are issued liecences with out the skills to use them. WTG Pete.

Oh and I have the post cards now can I have your addy again the e:mail that you sent me disolved into cyber space sorry. S

1:21:00 PM  
Blogger ms. creek said...

at first i was going to suggest to you city slickers to live someplace where there aren't morons driving around. some days, i drive to work, 5 miles, without even seeing ONE car. but then i got to thinking...i gotta deal with this crap too, just in a different way! at least you aren't driving 75 on a 2 lane, come up on some old farmer driving his tractor 15 mph, and there is oncoming traffic so you end up burning all the rubber off your tires, or it's late at night, you come around the corner and there are 4 deer crossing right in front of you and you know that hitting them is inetivable...EVERYONE has the blinding-deer-in-the-headlights look! so, what can be added to the driver's test to genetically weed out the moron drivers? lol

1:36:00 PM  
Blogger Hick said...

I am not aggressive, but my car is. I used to be a Casper Milquetoast in the car (I've never gotten a ticket in my life.) But ever since my husband got me a new car, it just wants to race around. Go figure.

1:47:00 PM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

All depends on if I have an idiot in the car in front of me or not....;)

3:28:00 PM  
Blogger Cody said...

I dig speeding....proboly for the
reason; simple lacking of excitment ie life. BUT I'm not rude about it...entirely...

4:06:00 PM  
Blogger jon said...

I've noticed that the worst offending morons fall into two catagories.

1. They are driving a jag and wearing a $2000 suit, obviously thinking that they are too important to bothered with the rules of courtesy and good driving like the rest of us.

2. Or they have forty seven Nascar stickers on their vehicle, and not only think that the Nascar talent scouts are grading them on their idiotic performance, but also actually think that their MORON driving is good enough for Nascar.

7:53:00 PM  
Blogger Violet said...

Grizzles about drivers could fill a huge book. I hate the ones who don't indicate when they should, or don't turn off their indicators after they've made their turn. I also hate those cars that make farty noises when the drivers puts on the gas.

8:07:00 PM  
Blogger Ms Vile File said...

I am an extremely aggressive driver. Which is why I decided to never drive anymore.

I'm sure the whole city heaved a sigh of relief.

8:41:00 PM  
Blogger Rurality said...

I'm usually the one that the aggressive drivers are yelling at. Because I'm driving the speed limit.

9:29:00 PM  
Blogger Scarlett said...

Hi Rainy Pete..

I love you, but if you ever again give advice like you did earlier, I will rip your clown nose off and eat it for breakfast.

Have a nice day.

1:06:00 AM  
Blogger blue2go said...

I tend to be an agressive driver but (now) am more careful of speeding tickets! Some drivers just don't use common sense, like going slowly in the passing lane--my pet peeve. If they want to be slow, use the SLOW lane and quit being a barracade to people who need to be somewhere on time! Ooooh I HATE that so much!

8:58:00 AM  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

We drove to TO yesterday. It's getting worse and worse. I hate it.

9:25:00 AM  
Blogger dan said...

People in a hurry often find themselves in an early grave, but more often than not it's the poor sucker they hit with their car.

11:01:00 AM  
Blogger Herge Smith said...

I'm very courteous... consequentially it takes me twice as long to get everywhere.

I blame reality TV and the news. Not just for this - for everything. A nice clean spread.

I love the dart gun idea - perfik.

6:38:00 AM  
Blogger ...just-rambling... said...

I was almost killed by an aggressive driver as I was making a left hand turn from a driveway onto a four lane road. He whipped out of the right hand lane that was stopped for a traffic light 100 feet ahead and floored it, knocking my car 50 feet down the road.

10:57:00 AM  
Blogger Memphis Steve said...

I think this has a lot to do with the rising sales of Hummers, which are effectively bumpercars with 4-wheel-drive.

12:49:00 PM  
Blogger Running2Ks said...

I hate when you are at the spot, signalling for it, and someone scoots in--especially when they are going THE WRONG WAY down the row to do it!

1:17:00 PM  
Blogger glomgold said...

If drivers are jerks to me I go harass them back. And I can't stand stupidity behind the wheel; people going way below the speed limit in the passing lane, weaving whilst on the phone, lights off at night, DUI, etc. I guess this makes me an aggressive driver? Where's my paintball coupon!

10:51:00 PM  

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