Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Furry Fretting

Here is the Faux in its natural state.
Here I am sitting at work and in comes our receptionist draped in fur. We had a lengthy discussion about the ethics of fur and she didn't appreciate my argument that if you wanted to be furry you should stop waxing your body and grow some of your own. This discussion sparked a new mission. I kept on going on about the fur and she kept justifying it by saying that it was faux fur.

I put to you a new mission. It's time we stand up for those poor creatures that can't defend themselves and fight for them. Ladies and gentlemen it's time we make an effort to save the faux.

And you thought you had trouble finding your car keys!The Faux is a little known animal that dwells in the frozen wastes of northern Canada. The faux is a small rat-like creature that possesses the unique ability to alter it's appearance to maximize its ability to camouflage itself. Being bite sized it is a tasty tidbit for many a predator. This is used by the fur trappers who will expose it to whatever pattern they desire and slaughter the poor creature while disguised. It takes several hundred of these poor guys to make a coat and about 120 for a stole or fuzzy hat.

The faux are becoming rapidly endangered as the public at large is weaning itself off of mink and fox and all the other furs that have been vilified. In an effort to retain the ability to wear fur, people turn to this lesser known beast. This doesn't make it right by any means. Faux is murder! The absolute worst part of it all is that in order to retain the appearance change, these poor things have to be strangled to death or they'll revert to their plain coat that is of no real desire for the trappers.

Hey! What's that over there. Those furry little faux buggers are eating my lunch! Bollocks to that! kill 'em all! Furry hats for everyone!!!!


Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Hey, I think I sent a donation to the F.L.F.B.F. (Furry Little Faux Bugger Fund) just last week so I've done my part! ;)

7:58:00 AM  
Blogger Ms Mac said...

Who knew you were an activist? Maybe we could do the same for the Crimples. You know, that Crimplene is made from!

8:31:00 AM  
Blogger sands of time said...

Well you did your job making us aware of the faux.I think i have some of those in my house

10:23:00 AM  
Blogger Le laquet said...

Bravo! For acting for, hang on I mean against the faux!

11:26:00 AM  
Blogger jon said...

Well, as long as one obtains a Faux hunting license, and abides by all the Faux hunting rules. I can't see the harm in a few Faux killings.

12:15:00 PM  
Blogger Martini said...

My you're a fickle fellow. Remind me never to eat your lunch. I don't want you making Martini hats out of me.

1:06:00 PM  
Blogger Celti said...


1:42:00 PM  
Blogger angela marie said...

It's a good thing I trust your writing, because that picture of that rodent thing just about scared me off of the computer! I stuck around and am all behind supporting the faux!

Go faux yourself! (Good slogan?)

1:47:00 PM  
Blogger Gimpy Mumpy said...

Good faux you pete!
You stand up faux their rights. :P

2:09:00 PM  
Blogger Aims said...

This is fantastic! Good on you Pete!

2:12:00 PM  
Blogger Violet said...

But I thought the Faux was a pest that destroys rain forests...

6:19:00 PM  
Blogger Elle said...


9:11:00 PM  
Blogger Rhodent said...

Hmmmm... pshaw for faux

9:51:00 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Get out that faux mousetrap you built last year.

11:36:00 AM  

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