Furry Fretting

Here I am sitting at work and in comes our receptionist draped in fur. We had a lengthy discussion about the ethics of fur and she didn't appreciate my argument that if you wanted to be furry you should stop waxing your body and grow some of your own. This discussion sparked a new mission. I kept on going on about the fur and she kept justifying it by saying that it was faux fur.

I put to you a new mission. It's time we stand up for those poor creatures that can't defend themselves and fight for them. Ladies and gentlemen it's time we make an effort to save the faux.

The Faux is a little known animal that dwells in the frozen wastes of northern Canada. The faux is a small rat-like creature that possesses the unique ability to alter it's appearance to maximize its ability to camouflage itself. Being bite sized it is a tasty tidbit for many a predator. This is used by the fur trappers who will expose it to whatever pattern they desire and slaughter the poor creature while disguised. It takes several hundred of these poor guys to make a coat and about 120 for a stole or fuzzy hat.

The faux are becoming rapidly endangered as the public at large is weaning itself off of mink and fox and all the other furs that have been vilified. In an effort to retain the ability to wear fur, people turn to this lesser known beast. This doesn't make it right by any means. Faux is murder! The absolute worst part of it all is that in order to retain the appearance change, these poor things have to be strangled to death or they'll revert to their plain coat that is of no real desire for the trappers.

Hey! What's that over there. Those furry little faux buggers are eating my lunch! Bollocks to that! kill 'em all! Furry hats for everyone!!!!