What's That Smell??

For those that don't know, Canada is knee deep in the home stretch for a federal election. Trust me when I say knee deep, in the most aromatic scent. The parties at war have decided to assume that Canadian voters are morons and have geared their advertising and speeches as such. As the candidates and parties hurl accusations and insults back and forth, their platforms and ideals go largely unmentioned. To make it worse, the existing federal government has taken the stereotype of corrupt government, and attempted to live it to the fullest. A series of scandals have left them scrambling to find a way to woo voters.

Unfortunately their tactic of trying to terrify the voters away from the competition by accusing them of war mongering tendencies and financial mayhem just aren't working. While we all assume the government will waste our money, the Liberals went and stole a heap of it, so they aren't faring too well. With this in mind it has become the mission of many people to try and get voter turnout cranked up to the max. The last election saw some of the most dismal voter turnout ever and since people are grumbling about change, they need to get out and do it. I get the idea and I like the idea since I think if everybody got out and voted instead of the wealthy folk, there would be a whole different look to the government at large.

With this drive to increase voting, students at Mcmaster University are apparently attempting to get previously uninterested university women interested in politics and voting. They have created an on campus campaign for women voters encompassing everyone's most beloved and vacuous hotel heiress and using pink shirts with the slogan "voters are hot" on them. It's safe to say that if they are successful, they will have secured the peroxide fake and bake vote. Hopefully it will bother intelligent women enough to get out and vote just so they don't have to look at such a thing again. In a country where 52% of the population are women yet only 21% of our politicians are women, something needs to give.

While this happens the parties themselves try to garner votes in interesting ways that make me laugh. One party, the NDP, trumpets themselves as the party for the working class. They then proceed to jump up and down about how they are the perfect party for our city, assuming we are all lunch bucket and hardhat types. They obviously haven't been downtown and seen the massive office towers, or just up the street at the massive building full of federal employees who aren't required to wear hardhats in their cubicles. Now, hip waders, maybe, but not hardhats. Just last night I actually saw an attack ad targeting these guys from the Conservatives, man they must be getting desperate. This is clearly a tactic to squeeze a few extra votes out of the system since there is no hope in hell that the NDP would win the big seat. There is obviously only one clear option, which unfortunately won't be on the ballot.



Today's the day when we all go to exercise our civic responsibility and cast our ballot. After spending our holiday season and new year with our ear protectors in we put up with the campaigning. Today is the day we can finally get off the fence and remove our hip waders. After casting our ballot we can schlep home and look forward to a night of crappy television. While the networks all clamor to be the first to deliver the final results, the rhetoric and projections will fly. Maybe I shouldn't put my ear protectors too far until it's all over. The only glimmer of hope is with the CBC, our national television network. They will be spending two hours taking the piss out of politics and having a good laugh. Once their coverage is over it's back to the boring task of waiting to see who wins the race.

It's been a long election and it will all be over soon. The big question is will we poor stupid voters be able to understand the outcome. Will the winning party explain it to us with pretty pictures and a cartoon or two, or will the new Prime Minister see his shadow and declare six more weeks of winter?

Only time will tell.