Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day


Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more
than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these just won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds...
it's a new troll'n motor!!


11 Comments:

Blogger PBS said...

Ha ha, what a funny poem! Happy Valentine's Day!

7:19:00 AM  
Blogger Martini said...

Dude. Be mine.

5:39:00 PM  
Anonymous happy and blue 2 said...

Ha,ha,ha..The poem and the video were hilarious.
Happy Valentines Day..And no this doesn't mean we need to hug..

10:51:00 PM  
Blogger Jayleigh said...

LOVE the poem!

11:59:00 PM  
Blogger Hick said...

I think I would fall asleep way before you got half-way through with 'citing your poem.

But that's okay because I now have DSL and I'm faster than a duck eating a junebug...

or something.

1:41:00 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Um... ok...

6:14:00 AM  
Blogger Martini said...

p.s.
Don't catch VD on VD.

7:36:00 PM  
Blogger L said...

happy belated valentine's day!

11:26:00 PM  
Blogger Chana said...

any poem that has the words duct tape in it is just perrrfect, lol...

awesomely witty and fun. hope you and the wifey had a very sweet day.

good to visit you again, as always, it is very entertaining. thnak you.

11:56:00 PM  
Blogger Ms. Creek said...

I'm thinking this poem was written by someone here in Montana! (he drives a flatbed Ford, has that black hat, chaw in his bottom lip and picks his teeth with a piece of straw....lots of them around here!

12:48:00 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

You know? I wouldn't mind a trawlin' motor. We're about due for a new one.

Hey - great to see you ... VERY original poem ... love it. Happy belated Val Day to you!

6:57:00 PM  

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