Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Time Flies.....

5 years ago an even so earth shattering happened that the planet is still recovering. It paved the way to a future of mayhem and insanity that would impact future generations and possibly the world at large. That's right folks, 5 years ago Rainypete got married!

After 5 short years we have now commenced our mission of bring love and craziness to the planet. My poor wife has developed a sardonic sense of humor and sense of comic timing that only putting up with me can provide. We have singlehandedly warped a dog and are now working on two kids. The world had best be warned, here we come and we are spreading like a virus. Sort of like the flu, but with laughing, smiling and sarcasm instead of the vomiting and fever. Thanks to the kids, though, the fatigue remains.

So as an aid to all those out there who are embarking down that road, or are looking for a few tips to make the journey a little more pleasant, I present some things that I've learned from being married. Rainy wisdom if you will (Although wise is one of the things I don't remember my wife calling me).

    The best way to remember your wife's birthday forever is to forget it once.

    Potato soup that can be walked across is actually damn tasty.

    If you want good cardio exercise, give your wife an honest answer.

    According to others, we breed some damn cute kids.


    Power tools are not a good gift for the wife.

    In the war of the sexes, there is unfortunately no Geneva Convention.

    Despite her soft and cuddly exterior, my wife is the strongest person I know.

    Although your wife can warm her frozen appendages on your sleeping body, you are under no circumstances allowed to reciprocate, lest you wish said appendages torn from your person and be found on the floor.

    When asked your opinion on fashion of decorating advice, faking a seizure is a more appropriate response than stating your tastes. (I still don't see why a moose's head has no place in the living room. It's a great place to store hats!)

    Despite hard times and financial woes, 5 years can fly by when you're in love.


Anyone needing more advice than this would be wise to look somewhere more useful.

17 Comments:

Blogger Charlie Gordon said...

Congratulations. The love you have for your wife and children is obvious in everything you write. You are a lucky man, Rainey Pete.

10:23:00 AM  
Blogger Foilwoman said...

And many more. You do breed darn cute kids. Oh, and the correct response to "What are you thinking about?" is always: "How lucky I am to be married to you, dear." Now that you've been married 5 years, I'll give you the secret answer to "Do I look fat?" The answer involves words and gestures: Pull her into a big hug, and say "That's the woman I married." Follow up with as racy a kiss as you can get away with. You'll have answered her question, and you won't have lied. She really wanted to know if you still found her attractive, and you gave her the answer she wanted. See?

10:45:00 AM  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Touching but with humour.

11:07:00 AM  
Blogger Denny Shane said...

As you know I have been divorced twice. I wish I had seen your advice earlier.

11:13:00 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Ah, young Rainy grasshoppa...you learning vewy qwickwee...;)

ADORABLE kids!

And those rules are SO TRUE! (Especially the "frozen appendage" one!!!) ;)

Great list Rainypete! :)

12:31:00 PM  
Blogger sands of time said...

Congratulations to you both on 5 years of marriage.
The list was great Rainy Pete,and so true.

1:09:00 PM  
Blogger Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

Congratulations! and you DO breed cute kids!

2:17:00 PM  
Blogger glomgold said...

Yeah, those are cute kids. Must be the other side of the family!

4:47:00 PM  
Blogger Martini said...

I have two more years to gain the wisdom you have acquired...
I have learned nothing by reading your blog. I truly must learn the hard way.

6:17:00 PM  
Blogger Kassi said...

Damned cute kids ... your wife must be gorgeous :)

8:31:00 PM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

Happy Anniversary..

9:11:00 PM  
Blogger mrhaney said...

good post rainy. you will have much more to say when you have been married 40 years like i have.

9:11:00 PM  
Blogger AlmightyHeidi said...

Ok Pete, tthat makes me want to puke. It's only because I am jealous over any great relationship.I think thats because I get involved with all the spawns of satan for some reason. My neighbors are always laughing and holding hands,I want to scream.
Ok so I had a bad day. By the way, just a tip, maybe you shouldnt take the Jodster out to dinner anymore, he seems to be having some food crisis lately. You might have to just take him directly to the hospital for a shot of valium if he does not get his bread.

Congrats!! Really!!

Bitter man hating,

Heidi

10:36:00 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

You do have cute kids and thanks for the advice.
But do I have to get married to try them .

1:41:00 AM  
Blogger JODSTER said...

A moose head in the living room? C'mon Pete.... every useless man knows the Moose head goes in the front hall. That's decorating 101!

4:44:00 PM  
Blogger Rowan said...

awww, congratulations!
YOU DO make beautiful babies.
We're just over 4 years here.
Not easy is it? But worth it.

2:02:00 PM  
Blogger Violet said...

congratulations, and yes you do produce some very cute kids.

6:39:00 PM  

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