Tuesday, December 05, 2006

How to make a turkey


How to make the perfect Christmas turkey:
    Step one get a lousy script.
    Step two hire an all start cast with the likes of Ben Affleck.


Oh wait....that's a Hollywood turkey. Anyhow, what do you do if you are not eating turkey anymore (god forbid) but relish the memories of your childhood. That beautiful bird all shiny and tasty, sitting there at the table tempting everyone's taste buds. Invite friends and family over and torture them with some tofu and an paper turkey. This would actually make for the ultimate prank if you could figure out how to swap this for the real bird between the oven and the table. The smell of turkey hanging in the air while everyone awaits the big reveal and ....... paper for everyone! Just make sure you don't actually confuse the two before you load the oven or you could have a bit of a situation on your hands! I'll not be trying this trick myself as a lack of turkey in the house could trigger a riot worthy of the nightly local newsreel including a death toll and everything!

11 Comments:

Anonymous happy and blue 2 said...

The paper turkey would make a good back up if the real turkey didn't turn out well..

9:50:00 AM  
Blogger Chana said...

my mom is a serious vegan. but she still appreciates a few smells, like the one from turkey dinner at Christmas. i couldn't do without meat. i'm a meat person. don't know how she does it. she claims with how i feel about animals and death one day i'll be there..Oh no!

that is an awesome paper turkey. good job making it. doesn't look like my kids paper turkey they make me, lol..

1:54:00 PM  
Blogger Martini said...

That's very impressive. But not good enough. Let's see if they can make me a 1:1 scale Lamborghini Gallardo. Fully functional would be nice, too.

2:11:00 PM  
Blogger Ms Mac said...

I'd rather eat the paper turkey, truth be told. Turkey? Bahh! Humbug!

3:35:00 PM  
Blogger Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Ah! But can they make a pre-cooked, pre-dead, feathered turkey?!

If God didn't intend turkey's to be eaten he wouldn't have invented cranberry sauce.

3:42:00 PM  
Blogger Aims said...

I like that!! I'm a veggie too so perhaps I will try the paper one!

4:34:00 PM  
Blogger crabcake said...

Dear Rainy Pete,

I borrowed your head for my blog. But you look lovely, honest.

sincerely, your pal,
Crabby

4:40:00 PM  
Blogger ms. creek said...

but was there any drippings for the gravy? did they cut up a paper neck, gizzard, heart and liver to add texture?

8:56:00 PM  
Blogger angela marie said...

I'd probably STILL cook it with the bag o' gizzards inside. I suck at turkey.

2:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Bre said...

don't forget a dash of tori spelling!

12:55:00 AM  
Blogger PBS said...

If I ever did that (cool!) trick, there would be a death in the family.

7:41:00 AM  

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