Friday, December 09, 2005

Decorating Aid

Ahh Christmas. A time for holiday traditions, smiling children, mall Santas and holiday decorating wars. I'm sure you have neighbors in your area that go all out as well as those that do little or nothing. This year I have been pretty busy, so even with my excitement for Christmas' impending arrival I haven't yet had the chance to do little else beyond stringing up the lights. This was not a huge concern to me until I came home from work on Monday only to discover someone had helped me get the decorating started. My wife phoned to let me know that there was a shiny new decoration adorning our porch railing.

Once I got home from work I assessed the offending decoration only to find that it contained little festive and no mention of Christmas whatsoever. Why they decided this orange slab of nasty hanging off of my house, would brighten my day is beyond me, but there it was.

For those that don't know, we have been blessed this year with an election campaign for Christmas. With the vote scheduled for late January, we have to put up with politicians clamoring for attention over the holidays. I'm thinking that a new tactic by the party is that they can capitalize on Canadian's politeness and the holiday bustle. If signs are randomly hung, they will have people that will be too polite or busy to have them removed. As a result, my week has been filled with attempts to discover the identity of the person who thought this was a good idea, as well as getting the same person to remove the sign from my property. They had the audacity to drop a slip of paper in my mailbox thanking me for my support. The paper contains an address that never I have trouble getting to when anyone is and a phone number with a voice mail that nobody seems to be answering for me. Several messages in, both voice and e-mail, and I still have this delightful festive decoration tied to my home.

Given the holidays I am going to be adding a sign to the top of it that says "A Merry Christmas and Happy New year from" to the top of it in the hopes that political correctness will do the job that contacting the party can't. Maybe being tied to a non-generic holiday greeting will galvanize them to action in fears of alienating non christian voters. So Merry Christmas from Chris and the NDP, whom I expect to hear from soon.

Now I have to worry about guerilla signage and canvassers during the holiday season I think I'm going to have to spend a little more money that I'd planned this month and invest in The Mercer Report's fantastic new product, the canvassizer.


Blogger Mark Leslie said...

You know, if you can get some Liberal Blue and Conservative Red signs (with the perfectly stated "Merry Christmas from" of course), added to the NDP Orange, and maybe even the Green Party (their signs are Green, right?) you've got quite the coloured festive display there - could save you on your Christmas decorations in the long run.

Oh, and Merry Christmas!

8:36:00 AM  
Blogger Elle said...

You Canadians ARE too damn nice. If that happened at my place, I would have had Vito rip the sign down, find the offending hanger of it and have him snack on it while he put up my Christmas lights up in gratitude for my "support." That's how it's done-Joisey style.

No, just kidding...maybe.

9:49:00 AM  
Blogger Minerva said...

What about putting 'is a w**ker' underneath it... I bet it would get taken down pretty quickly then..*grin*

Juvenile perhaps? Nahhhhhhh.....


12:21:00 PM  
Blogger Memphis Steve said...

I can't see the photos because of the Blog Police here at work, but from what you've said I can imagine. I'd be pretty upset if any politician strapped their sign to my home on my behalf and without my permission. I'd be cutting that sign into tiny little pieces and making confetti out of it.

I guess I need to see the photos before I say this. I can't imagine why you haven't destroyed the sign. Can you sled on it? Would it be useful as a drip pan for placing underneath your car or truck? I really need to get home so I can see these photos.

Today they've blocked Jaded in Chicago's blog altogether. I suppose it's because she's linked to Tucker Max, the first and previously only blog I'd ever encountered to be blocked at work.

Merry Christmas, Canadian or otherwise.

12:43:00 PM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

Why don't you wrap it up and return it as a Christmas gift..

12:49:00 PM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

I like happy and blue 2's idea. Or a sign below that simply says, "Killed Santa" ;)
Have a great weekend!
Lois Lane

1:39:00 PM  
Blogger TheatreChick73 said...

Lights and tinsel always pretty anything up. Maybe a nice jaunty bow in the one corner?

2:18:00 PM  
Blogger Frank said...

I am definitely on the side of adding insulting and/or obscene language to the sign. I love " a wanker" and "killed Santa". Maybe " my baby daddy" too.

2:46:00 PM  
Blogger Lake Allison said...

Hang up election signs for yourself. Maybe people will vote for you. I would.

3:33:00 PM  
Blogger ramblin' girl said...

yeah, I wouldn't have been so nice, either... it would have lasted until about 5 minutes after I got home...

3:51:00 PM  
Blogger Gimpy Mumpy said...

Oooh, I love the "killed Santa" idea. Brilliant!

Or how about "makes baby Jesus cry".

4:20:00 PM  
Blogger Hick said...

I am not getting this. Is it against the law to remove a sign from your house? And, if it is against the law, how come someone can put up a sign on your property? I realize that you Canadians are polite and all, but I think this is going a bit far.

Merry Christmas, anyway.

6:20:00 PM  
Blogger deni said...

Can they do that?

I mean, can anybody just come up on your property and hang a sign?

It would be down off of MY porch and I would hand deliver it personally back to the person it belongs to.

7:54:00 PM  
Blogger angela marie said...

Wow! I can't believe that they will just put that there without asking. You obviously don't live in I'llSueYourAss Land, like we do.


8:49:00 PM  
Blogger Jayleigh said...

Ewww I hate campaign paraphernalia anyway, but at Christmastime? Eek.

11:47:00 PM  
Blogger L said...

how annoying.... election season is always a pain

10:41:00 PM  
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