Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Analog brain in a digital world

I am not what you would call a technophobe. Hell, I'm blogging! I love my toys and gadgets as much as the next penis sporting mammal, but there are inventions that are encroaching on us at an alarming rate. As we develop technology further and further the connectedness of the world becomes more and more widespread. Crackberries and cellphones take over as the method of communication and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I see two kids talking to each other at the food court over cellphones even though they are standing in front of each other.

I am a reluctant cellphone owner and am a non-typical consumer of the product. I like to call and that's about it. Texting and all that has little appear so the full featured calling plans they offer are of no consequence to me. On the other hand, the handsets have my full attention as they live a very rough life with me. After a brief dip in the tub with my little guy my last phone had developed a case of cellular narcolepsy. It'’s timing was impeccable as it would stay on whenever I decided to look at it then promptly shut down when it was really necessary. This made house buying and mortgage wrangling more complicated than it should have been. I was headed away this weekend so it was decided that it was time to put the old phone to rest and secure a new one. I ventured out earlier to check out some options and was greeted by a cheerful sales person. They proceeded to show me a multitude of options which had cameras for still pictures, cameras for videos, built in itunes support, MP3 support, java games, internet support, Bluetooth, etc…. After telling the clerk that I wasn’t concerned if it had green teeth I asked if they had a model on which one could make a phone call they looked at me with disdain and went about avoiding me.

I checked out the prices and departed from the store with no phone and no idea of how to solve the problem. Confronted with some good weather the weekend before I was leaving I decided to try walking to the mall and giving one more try. When I arrived at the busy store, the lady behind the counter asked what I was looking for. I told her cheap and durable.......and supports phone calls. We eventually went along with her recommendation and bought a Motorola V551 which I have now been mucking about with for two weeks.

You'’ve already seen the picture capability of it, which isn'’t as good as a real camera (duh), but respectable as it takes a nicer picture than my toaster or clock radio! My daughter is absolutely infatuated with seeing her and her brother on the tiny screen. I haven'’t figured out the game thing yet which is probably best as I'’d likely get little done at work. Although after two weeks I have kind of figured out voice dialing where you hit a button and tell it who to call. This can backfire as I found out when trying to fix a loose belt on a van and repeatedly using a certain "“s"” word only to find I had inadvertently called my proctologist. He was concerned as he was hearing me talk about getting my belt on with a wrench and hammer. Once that was cleared up I set about learning as much as I could about this phone. I think it is afraid of me though as it shakes when it rings, likely in fear of what button I’ll press to try and get it to talk.

The old card from my old phone kept all of my phone numbers on it though, so I don’t have to transfer them over like I did last time so that'’s nice, and saved me hours of trying to type on that little keypad. This s the real reason that I don'’t text people. Sure it'’s expensive and intrusive, but I find it is easier and quicker to phone someone that to take 15 minute trying to hammer out "“Hey, what are you up to tonight?"”. So I'’ve decided I like this little wonder and am keeping it, but I'’m had one question. If my phone has a blue tooth where is its mouth. I don'’t want this thing trying to bite me when I'’m driving. A trip to the store educated me further. Now I know that bluetooth devices talk to things with bluetooth. Sort of like a secret cult handshake or something and they told me that this makes driving much safer so I've taken their advice and taken the leap into bluetooth for my car and safety. I just can't get the phone and I to link up right. Any guesses what I'm doing wrong?


Blogger Quinch said...

Hey Pete, you are the Random Blog of the Day at "Space is Cold." Good luck with the cell phone and don't let those mean clerks get you down.

8:57:00 AM  
Anonymous hellbunny said...

Love your new phone

11:31:00 AM  
Blogger Martini said...

I'm surprised you were able to find a store that had bluetooth phones in stock. Hillbillies have been buying them up by the truckload, as it's cheaper than going to the dentist for implants.

1:39:00 PM  
Blogger Jules K said...

Quinch sent me---this is hilarious!

5:59:00 PM  
Blogger mrhaney said...

that is one thing i do not own and now that i am home all the time i have little use for it. if some one gave one to me i might take it. they would have to also pay for the bill each month. i know that is pushing it a might but even if they just give me the phone that will be pushing it also.

7:49:00 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

So funny!
I agree ... my cell phone and I are not the best of friends but we do try to stay in touch just incase I might need it sometime.
Text messaging slays me - if I'm going to bother to type text, I'm sitting at my computer. The picture thing is a fine idea, but I don't feel like I need it.

Guess I've still come a long way from 9 years ago when I clearly stated to my daughter "Watch my lips, I do not WANT a cell phone, I do not NEED a cell phone and I refuse to PAY for a cell phone." (by the way, I'm on my fourth one now)

Neat post ... really enjoyed this.

6:51:00 AM  
Blogger Martini Love said...

I love cellphones ... its a sad sad addiction I have.

6:25:00 PM  
Blogger sadbloodyteddy said...

what the hell is wrong with you??? i hope to all the gods you don't have a kid..... i hope you have two..... ta-da!!! i'm magic. by-the-by, beware of the "BLUE TOOTH FARY" bitch don't wait till they fall out. and one more thing; lay off the hooch man, your nose is turning red as hell.

my but hurts

9:41:00 PM  
Blogger wondy woman said...

Hey where is your Half Nekkid for Thursday? It's my ONLY reason for waking on a Thursday!


7:59:00 AM  
Blogger Cody said...

Cell phones are so over rated. I love going to highly public places wondering around obliverated by my cordless wonder screaming "I'm on my CELL PHONE." For some reason the mass usual does not find this very humerouse. Good luck with the blue tooth: perhaps if it were lodged in your nose it would hold very nicley and make driving THAT much safer.

12:59:00 AM  
Blogger GregTamblyn said...

"Analog Brain In A Digital World" is the title of a funny song:

Check it out.


11:14:00 AM  

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