Analog brain in a digital world

I am not what you would call a technophobe. Hell, I'm blogging! I love my toys and gadgets as much as the next penis sporting mammal, but there are inventions that are encroaching on us at an alarming rate. As we develop technology further and further the connectedness of the world becomes more and more widespread. Crackberries and cellphones take over as the method of communication and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I see two kids talking to each other at the food court over cellphones even though they are standing in front of each other.

I am a reluctant cellphone owner and am a non-typical consumer of the product. I like to call and that's about it. Texting and all that has little appear so the full featured calling plans they offer are of no consequence to me. On the other hand, the handsets have my full attention as they live a very rough life with me. After a brief dip in the tub with my little guy my last phone had developed a case of cellular narcolepsy. It'’s timing was impeccable as it would stay on whenever I decided to look at it then promptly shut down when it was really necessary. This made house buying and mortgage wrangling more complicated than it should have been. I was headed away this weekend so it was decided that it was time to put the old phone to rest and secure a new one. I ventured out earlier to check out some options and was greeted by a cheerful sales person. They proceeded to show me a multitude of options which had cameras for still pictures, cameras for videos, built in itunes support, MP3 support, java games, internet support, Bluetooth, etc…. After telling the clerk that I wasn’t concerned if it had green teeth I asked if they had a model on which one could make a phone call they looked at me with disdain and went about avoiding me.

I checked out the prices and departed from the store with no phone and no idea of how to solve the problem. Confronted with some good weather the weekend before I was leaving I decided to try walking to the mall and giving one more try. When I arrived at the busy store, the lady behind the counter asked what I was looking for. I told her cheap and durable.......and supports phone calls. We eventually went along with her recommendation and bought a Motorola V551 which I have now been mucking about with for two weeks.

You'’ve already seen the picture capability of it, which isn'’t as good as a real camera (duh), but respectable as it takes a nicer picture than my toaster or clock radio! My daughter is absolutely infatuated with seeing her and her brother on the tiny screen. I haven'’t figured out the game thing yet which is probably best as I'’d likely get little done at work. Although after two weeks I have kind of figured out voice dialing where you hit a button and tell it who to call. This can backfire as I found out when trying to fix a loose belt on a van and repeatedly using a certain "“s"” word only to find I had inadvertently called my proctologist. He was concerned as he was hearing me talk about getting my belt on with a wrench and hammer. Once that was cleared up I set about learning as much as I could about this phone. I think it is afraid of me though as it shakes when it rings, likely in fear of what button I’ll press to try and get it to talk.

The old card from my old phone kept all of my phone numbers on it though, so I don’t have to transfer them over like I did last time so that'’s nice, and saved me hours of trying to type on that little keypad. This s the real reason that I don'’t text people. Sure it'’s expensive and intrusive, but I find it is easier and quicker to phone someone that to take 15 minute trying to hammer out "“Hey, what are you up to tonight?"”. So I'’ve decided I like this little wonder and am keeping it, but I'’m had one question. If my phone has a blue tooth where is its mouth. I don'’t want this thing trying to bite me when I'’m driving. A trip to the store educated me further. Now I know that bluetooth devices talk to things with bluetooth. Sort of like a secret cult handshake or something and they told me that this makes driving much safer so I've taken their advice and taken the leap into bluetooth for my car and safety. I just can't get the phone and I to link up right. Any guesses what I'm doing wrong?