Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Beware The Rabbit Army

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Ahhh Easter. That magical time of the year when people of no religious persuasion look forward to a long weekend, a huge meal, and enough chocolate to choke a yak. For those among us that are Christian there is a little more to it, but the commercial side of things are far more entertaining and less somber.

The cornerstone of this is the sale of chocolate everything. Thanks to the Easter Bunny we were driven by the coloured eggs. Having darker origins than the candy and toys we now know him for the Easter Bunny is the symbol of the commercial face of Easter, and the hero of spring retailers everywhere. Not that I hold that against him, everybody's got to make a living. Long ago the predominate spring festival was a raucous Saxon fertility celebration in honor of the Saxon Goddess Eastre (Ostara), whose sacred animal was a hare. The colored eggs associated with the bunny are of another, even more ancient origin. The eggs associated with this were symbols of rebirth and fertility and may date to the beginning of human civilization. Ancient Romans and Greeks used eggs as symbols of fertility, rebirth, and abundance - eggs were solar symbols, and figured in the festivals of numerous resurrected gods. The church figured if they could tap into this market they would have great numbers. Thus Easter as we know it was born.
These days the chocolate industry is more than happy to perpetuate the church's adaptation of the pagan festival that bolstered the attendance and participation all hose years ago. This group coupled with modern retailers turned this addiction to coloured eggs and mutated it into a deeper range of offerings. If you are not into the stereotypical bunnies then you can buy cartoon characters, vehicles, movie figures and whatever else's catches your eye. Barring that, there are a host of other cute ducks and other cuddly critters available. Most parents will buy their children chocolate in moderate quantities while the remaining family members fulfilling their role by overloading them, especially if there are grandparents in the equation. We aren't worried about buying any for our daughter this year as we will be inundated with a solid (or maybe hollow) flow of it from both sides of the family.

Chocolate of today is a highly engineered experience and the sooner you can hook the kids the better. It's so engineered to be addictive that it's actually startling. The resulting fallout from all this chocolate can be pretty dodgy. The best thing about this holiday is similar to the best part of Halloween. Eventually the candy will dissipate and the sugar and caffeine will wear off. At this point you will get your kids back and you won't be fighting for your sanity anymore. Well maybe you will, but at least it'll be on your terms.

The downside is that without all that chocolate laying around the house, your wife may get edgy again. You may want to hide an emergency supply in case the wife forgot the save some for a rainy day. I usually have M&M's hidden for emergency dosing.

For your own health and longevity gents.......think about it.


Blogger JODSTER said...

I'm just tired of the "I want chocolate NOW" / "Get that vile chocolate out of this house"/ Jeckyll and Hyde syndrome around my place...

10:16:00 AM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

I like chocolate and any excuse to have more chocolate. Hats off to the pagan bunny I say..

11:40:00 AM  

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