Thursday, April 28, 2005

Terror on the Phone



Now I'm not one to love the telephone at the best of times. When it's not choked with telemarketers it is usually for the wife. I can't say as there is any particular reason for this contempt of the not-so-modern communications wonder but I'm just not a huge fan. If we didn't have phones we'd definitely see people more often, as well as possibly think harder about what to say when we open our mouths, after all if you screw it up you'd have to go all the way back to explain yourself. A little more complicated than hitting redial to say the least.

I now have a new reason to be wary of this delightful little gadget though. While getting ambushed into setting up two new PCs at work today I was leafing throughout the 2,000 pages of paper that come with this paperwork streamlining device, I saw a warning that got my attention:

"Avoid using a telephone line (other than cordless type) during an electrical storm. There may be a remote risk of electric shock from lightning."

Great! Now not only am I in a position of malaise over having these things scattered about my house, but now I have to fear death when using it in this volatile season of storms. Talk about a miserable end! Just as you are convincing the 18th caller of the night that you have no need for term life insurance you get fried like an onion ring before you can drop the handset.

I do hold an image of joy, however in the other possibilities this offers. Once I've done sewing together my latest creation, I'll save the trip to the roof and just put the phone to its ear. The resulting jolt will bring it to creaky life. Another possibility that makes the darker facets of my psyche is the image of a cubicle farm of telemarketers have an "electrifying" discussion with customers. The smell of all the fried hair would be pretty ghastly though.

I'll have to console myself that now I can't use the phone during a storm. There goes another thing for my list. First I couldn't dry my hair in the shower to save time, then I couldn't pacify kids by giving them surplus bags to play with. Just recently I read my iron and found out that all the ironing I did while I was wearing said clothing is not allowed either. When will these fear mongers stop!!

I've gotta go. I hear thunder in the distance.

6 Comments:

Blogger Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

Sounds like you are the typical guy...my husband hates talking on the phone, too. But it's never for him, either. Come to think of it...maybe you guys are just jealous no one calls you? (Kidding!)

When I was a kid my mom absolutely would not let us on the phone during a storm. She was SO paranoid about that. I wonder if that goes with cordless ones, too?

1:58:00 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Oh RP, just get a cell phone. Then you can talk during storms... And having it on you at all times means you can talk on the phone *more*! (Hee hee.) It does cut down on the number of telemarketers, tho.

3:48:00 PM  
Blogger Rhodent said...

Growing up in central Florida, I have been indoctrinated with the "stay off the line during a storm" theme. It really is more than a remote possibility around here during summer storms. WE've had several TVs blown out by lightning as well as several phones and various other electronic gadgets.

10:19:00 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I got flashed the other night while I was out....I stood there on the street looking looking looking for the camera..nope nothing...got home...flashed again as I was walking upo my stairs...still no camera...eventually I realised...it was friggin' lightning...storm got closer, lightning, thunder, torrential rain. I felt like such a twit lol

1:36:00 AM  
Blogger blue2go said...

As a kid I was told to turn off electric things and stay off the phone, too. I thought it was just old-fashioned advice until as an adult lightening struck our apartment and blew out our TV (which was on) good thing nobody was in the room at the time! There, don't you feel better now?

7:24:00 AM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

I'm such a rebel. When people tell me things like this then I tend to do JUST what they advise not to do.

I haven't been sturck yet but now I may have to be more careful since I've jinxed myself by being cocky.

7:29:00 PM  

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